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What I Didn't Say Yesterday

I debated long and hard about making this post. I even emailed karnythia and asked her if I was crazy to do this. Her advice was to make a public post and ask people to come up with ways to help and to ask my Livejournal friends to pass this post along. So I'm taking her advice.

Another tenant who rents an apartment downstairs where I live also went to court yesterday lost big time. The judge sided with the landlord and so she has to come up with $1200 in nine days or be evicted. If she is evicted she will have to surrender custody of her five year old child to her ex husband who is vindictive enough to make visitation next to impossible for her.

My friend works a full time forty hour a week job. She makes less than eight dollars an hour. Her ex husband pays the minimum allowed amount of child support, all of which goes to her child's daycare. She often goes without food in order to make sure that her child eats, sometimes for days at a time. She has been unable to find another job here, in Richmond, the Tidewater or NOVA area. She cannot leave the state with her daughter because of the previously mentioned custody issues with her daughter's father and his family.

She is now downstairs trying to figure out how to say goodbye to her child in nine days when she is evicted from her apartment. Because of her income she has no savings and her divorce decimated her credit. Her parents are unable and unwilling to help her. Things will be easier for her financially in August when her child goes to kindergarten. But she has to get there first.

This is all a very long winded way of saying that I want to try to help her. I want her to not be homeless or lose custody of her daughter because our landlord is an asshole. I have a Paypal account ( and have the ability to get any funds raised to the courthouse to pay the judgment so that that she will be able to stay in her apartment and keep her child. I'll make another Paypal account if it means that people will trust me to get these funds to the court and pay her judgment so she won't be homeless. I am willing to take pictures of going to the courthouse and paying the judgment. I just don't want her to be homeless and lose her child. They need each other.

Any "extra" funds raised (I'm trying to be optimistic here) over the $1200 amount will either be returned to the sender or be put on a Walmart gift card and given to her to buy food as per the sender's wishes. I will not benefit from this in any way. I will also personally write a thank you card and send it to each and every person. That is my personal promise.

Why am I even attempting to do this when I could just sit back and do nothing?

This woman is a honest, trustworthy and decent person who by virtue of marrying the wrong person is dealing with never ending consequences. I am an extraordinarily cynical person when it comes to people helping others in need. I didn't even ask for money when I was almost homeless. But I can't stand back and watch this happen without at least trying to help. This is the only thing I know how to do to help.

She has until June 4th to make that payment and stay in her apartment and keep her child. She has no idea that I am doing this. I know that it is a short time to raise a large amount of money. I still want to at least try. I am willing to answer any questions anyone has.

Could you all please forward this post far and wide? I will keep you updated as to what happens I promise.

EDITED TO ADD: OMG, I just checked my PayPal account (I was frankly scared to check it before) and there is OVER $2,000 IN IT!!! I . . . have no words! Thank you everyone! I need to email everyone who donated (some people came from Twitter, etc) and let them know. I will be making a separate post about this, BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! Please go to here to read the update with the new total and the whole story.


( 217 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 28th, 2010 02:34 am (UTC)
will boost the signal. But you should also post this to blackfolk.
May. 28th, 2010 12:38 pm (UTC)
*Hugs.* I will. And thank you.
(Deleted comment)
May. 28th, 2010 12:39 pm (UTC)
*Big Hugs.* Thank you Lil Boo. This means A LOT to me. I love them too.
May. 28th, 2010 03:25 am (UTC)
We'll get it done. Just sent some $$ and I'll boost tomorrow (remind me if I forget, because my mind is like a sieve).
May. 28th, 2010 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much! I really appreciate this.
May. 28th, 2010 03:30 am (UTC)
Here via karnythia; just out of a rough patch myself, always grateful for the help of my friends, glad to pay it forward. No thank-you card necessary. I'm so glad your neighbor has a friend like you.
May. 28th, 2010 12:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you VERY much! And I hope this doesn't offend you: I'm sending you a Thank You card anyway. Because it is HUGE to do this for someone you don't know. And, well, I'm Southern and that is how we do things.
May. 28th, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)
I'm afraid I have nothing to send, but I will signal boost accordingly and well, here's a thought...Do you have a Talecris center nearby? They take plasma donations for money. If you or your friend have some time and are reasonably healthy, well it isn't much but it might help.

May. 28th, 2010 12:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you for getting the word out. I can't donate plasma (kidney issues) but I will pass the tip on to my friend.
May. 28th, 2010 03:43 am (UTC)
I broke my rule of locking posts. I posted it up on a public post on the off chance anyone could see it. I can't send right now, but I might have some $ tomorrow. >_< I hate being a poor college student.
May. 28th, 2010 04:30 am (UTC)
Catholic Social Services helps parents no matter the religion and Section Eight should have Emergency help to keep single parent in home. Catholic social services will do a one time payment but it will help. Also check local Habitat for Humanities, They have programs for renters.
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 12:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 12:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dracoangelica - May. 28th, 2010 03:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 29th, 2010 04:29 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 28th, 2010 03:47 am (UTC)
Linked from karnythia; I can't help myself right now, but I made a public LJ post about it to spread the word. (Which I can take down or make friends-only if that's a problem.) Good luck!
May. 28th, 2010 12:43 pm (UTC)
No, I am perfectly fine with your making this public. Thank you so much for spreading the word.
May. 28th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
Hi, I'm a complete stranger, but I am LJ friends with schreiendumi and saw her post. I just sent money, but get antsy with internet transfers, so if you could reply to this comment once you've received the transfer, I'd feel better. I always worry I'll type something wrong and send cash to Timbuktu.
May. 28th, 2010 12:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for coming to help. I don't know your "real name" so please send me a PM here or email me at and let me know your name and I'll email you back.
(no subject) - lily_shrike - Jun. 1st, 2010 07:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nieceytee - Jun. 7th, 2010 08:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 28th, 2010 04:13 am (UTC)
Coming from another's journal... maybe try the sfd_wishingwell?
May. 28th, 2010 12:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. I had no idea that there was a [Unknown LJ tag]. I'll go check them out.
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 28th, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
I'm here via karnythia. I would like information on how to help her out. I'd be happy to send a small donation. With your permission I'll post this on my journal.
May. 28th, 2010 12:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for coming here and trying to help. You have my permission to post this as far and wise as possible.
(no subject) - whimsicalmusing - May. 28th, 2010 04:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 05:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 28th, 2010 04:46 am (UTC)
Came by way of Karnythia
Giving a signal boost on LJ, FB, and Twitter. I wish I could donate money, but I'm in the midst of my own financial crisis. I'll be praying for you, and for her.
May. 28th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
Re: Came by way of Karnythia
Thank you so very very much for boosting the signal. I'll be keeping you in my prayers and sending you positive thoughts as well. *Big Hugs.*
Re: Came by way of Karnythia - skindyedindigo - May. 28th, 2010 04:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Came by way of Karnythia - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 04:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
May. 28th, 2010 12:52 pm (UTC)
The fact that you are here and willing to try to help in any capacity is MORE than enough. Thank you.
May. 28th, 2010 10:34 am (UTC)
Here via karnythia. The entry from Missy Media Services is me. It's not a lot, but it's what I can spare. No mother should be separated from her child over something as stupid as money.
May. 28th, 2010 12:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Your help is so very appreciated. *Big Hugs.*
May. 28th, 2010 11:26 am (UTC)
Here via kibbles. I don't have much right now, but I sent $10. I hope it helps.
May. 28th, 2010 12:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you so VERY much! And thank you for boosting the signal!
May. 28th, 2010 12:22 pm (UTC)
Sending hugs and good thoughts
I'm unemployed, but I wanted to say I care and I wish her the best.
May. 28th, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
Re: Sending hugs and good thoughts
Thank you so much for boosting the signal and for sending her positive thoughts and energy. They mean A LOT. *BIg Hugs.*
May. 28th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
I sent $10.00 from our account through Ben's e-mail. Send her my love.
May. 28th, 2010 12:55 pm (UTC)
I will when I actually tell her. She doesn't know I'm trying to do this and I would very much appreciate it if you would keep this "under your hat." Thank you so much. *Big Hugs.*
May. 28th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
Here via karnythia. Sent what I could last night from my RL account. I hope everything works out!
May. 28th, 2010 01:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much! I am grateful for what you sent and happy that you had enough faith to send it to someone what you didn't know. I promise you that I will keep you updated as to what happens.
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 28th, 2010 02:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 28th, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
I don't have much money right now, but I'll send good wishes (and prayers, if that's okay) her way. Hope everything works out for her. ♥
May. 28th, 2010 02:25 pm (UTC)
That is MORE than okay. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. I'll keep you posted as to what happens. *Big Hugs.*
May. 28th, 2010 02:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you
I've been where she is. I'm also in Virginia, so if there is anything practical I can do in addition to donating, let me know. tiffanized (at) hotmail (dot) com.
May. 28th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
Re: Thank you
Thank you so very much. I have also been in thsi situation (I was a child then) and I wish that someone had been able to help my family.
May. 28th, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC)
Here via rm's link; sent what I could and passing this along.
May. 28th, 2010 02:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much and thank you for passing this along. I really appreciate it. *Big Hugs.*
May. 28th, 2010 02:54 pm (UTC)
Here via rm - not much to spare at the moment, but I sent $25. You're a wonderful person for trying to help another!
May. 28th, 2010 03:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much! I am grateful for your help!
May. 28th, 2010 02:55 pm (UTC)

Also have her check out - an amazing non-profit that helps with one time payments.

I sent over as much as I could. Thanks for doing this.
May. 28th, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC)
I will and thank you!
May. 28th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
Here via various people, and I have boosted the signal in my own journal. Will send what I can as soon as I check my accounts and see what I have left.

As an advocate for survivors of domestic and sexual violence, if I can do anything in terms of hooking y'all up with resources for survivors, etc, let me know. I'm checking my resources in the NOVA area.

gretchen.marie at gmail is the easiest way to get me. :)
May. 29th, 2010 04:20 am (UTC)
Thank you SO very much for sending this out. And thank you for your offer of assistance.
May. 28th, 2010 03:24 pm (UTC)
Here via [Unknown LJ tag]. I don't have any money at the moment, but would you mind if I posted a public entry with a link to your entry on this?
May. 29th, 2010 04:21 am (UTC)
Thank you for coming over. The need has been met,and I apologize for answering your comment late. I have been answering each comment and email individually and it has taken some time. But thank you so much for your offer of help., It was very much appreciated.
(no subject) - auntiegriz - May. 29th, 2010 12:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nieceytee - May. 30th, 2010 04:49 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 28th, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC)
Came here via Facebook, sent a little over!
May. 29th, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for your help!
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( 217 comments — Leave a comment )



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